Kim Stacey | Body Image Coach and Personal Trainer
It all started when I was a teenager – I remember my life was focused on trying to lose weight, I can not remember when this fixation on looking a certain way started exactly, I just remember some days only eating a dry cracker for lunch. Fast forward to University, I was studying Fashion Design, looks were the top priority; I was not only surrounded by super skinny people that judged you purely on your looks,
I was also designing clothes to promote that view; your appearance = your worth.
In my final year of university, I ended up putting on a huge amount of weight because I was heart broken and lonely, I had broken up with my first love.
Everyone around me was very much focused on external beauty and I didn’t fit in. After leaving University my self worth was extremely low, I got a job in London as a designer but that was another horrendously bad experience which put me off working for anyone in the fashion industry for life.
Fast forward another year, I fell in love again and got pregnant. Which led me to put on more weight during pregnancy (naturally).
Fast forward again, I lost 3 stone (on Weight Watchers) that was only 9 months after going through an emergency c section and a complicated pregnancy.
I still did not feel good enough, unsurprisingly, I put all the weight back on, feeling even worse about myself.
Fast forward again, (this time in a nutshell) single mum, years of online dating and pure objectification. Endless dates, leading to let down every. single. time.
Getting my heart broken a few more times. Spending a huge amount of time on my own, working full time from home, raising my amazing son alone, building and running a fashion label, successfully (Yes, I got into British VOGUE – proud moment). This brought me to a point where, again, unsurprisingly, I burnt myself out. Resulting in having to close down my label.
More recently I became the slimmest I have ever been – it took over 2 years to get to that point, so this time you may assume it was done properly…. well not exactly….
I did it slowly, which is great, but I then developed an obsession with the gym and when I say obsession I mean obsession – 5x times a week, (at least) intense workouts.
It made me obsessed with my body and food, I restricted so much of the food I love – I would take numerous progress pictures and spend ages comparing them. If I didn’t see a difference I would push harder,
Then COVID hit…
I discovered I was using the gym as a way to suppress real emotions. I had no choice but to work on myself, I could either sink down or rise –
I had to rise, if not for myself but for my son.
I started various courses, gained a lot of qualifications, coached people worldwide with body image issues, issues with food, and exercise and have developed my business into what you see now. Now I am a Body Image Coach and Personal Trainer.
If I am honest, one of the main things that held me back from pursuing my love of fitness as a career was I never felt my body was good enough
But I was totally missing the point, we shouldn’t see exercise as a sole purpose to change our bodies
Because it sucks the fun out of it and adds to pressure, anxiety, stress, guilt, shame- I mean come on – that’s not what exercise is for!
So now I bring my Body Image coaching to my fitness classes with a focus on celebrating our bodies – talk of calories, weight loss is banned. It is a place to forget about societal pressure, a place to be present and to enjoy what our bodies can do.
I still battle with my own body image but I have managed to learn acceptance – I accept my bodies not perfect (which I actually like) but more importantly I have learnt I am not just a body, I have so much more to offer than my appearance.
It has taken me a while to see but, the perception of my body has had such a huge affect on my own life and all aspects of it, which is why…
I feel so passionately about helping people with theirs.
It is not a case of vanity it’s a case of realising your worth, going against what society expects of us and finding the real you, buried deep under all the shame, let down and guilt.
I realised my happiness will never be found by allowing my self worth to be determined by how I look – even when I was at my goal weight, my goal size, I still didn’t feel good enough. I still didn’t feel happy, and I have coached countless others with the same issue. It is once you realise your inner worth your, inner purpose – that is where true happiness and health comes from.
Each experience we have in life is an opportunity to learn, nothing is a waste of time unless you don’t take at least one lesson from it – you can either grow stronger or you can let it defeat you..
Which one are you going to choose?
I completed my coach training at Robbins-Madanes Training under my teachers Tony Robbins, Cloe Madanes, Mark Peysha, and Magali Peysha.
Level 5 Diploma in Life Coaching. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Level 5. NLP Master Practitioner (Advanced to Specialist). Health and Nutrition life coaching certificate.
I have a Level 3 Personal Trainer qualification and I am working towards my Level 4, the aim here is to really change the perception of how fitness and health is perceived.
Health and appearance do not ultimately equate to the same thing; if you look “thin” then you are not necessarily fit, and vice vera.
Much like worth and appearance – these types of attitudes drilled into us by the media are a huge thing contributing to a poor body image.